5.2.1 Communication during the mobility

Task

Solution Task

Example 1

Man: What's the green in the sauce?

Woman: My God, if you don't like it here, you can eat somewhere else!

 

Sender (man)

Receiver (woman)

Factual content

There's something green

There's something green!

Self-revelation

I don't know what it is

I don't like it!

Relationship

You'll know

You're a lousy cook!

Appeal

Tell me what it is!

Next time leave out the green!

 

Example 2

Man: You, there's green up ahead!

Woman: Are you driving or am I!?

 

Sender (man)

Receiver (woman)

Factual content

The traffic light is green

The traffic light is green!

Self-revelation

I'm in a hurry

I'd like to drive on at last!

Relationship

I am superior to you

You are a bad driver!

Appeal

Drive now

Drive now!

 

In both example situations you can clearly see that the woman hears the man's statements on the relationship ear and feels belittled by them.

Now it is possible that the man wanted to refer more to the appeal side and that the weight of his statement was not on the relationship level. This is how conflicts and misunderstandings arise in these situations.

 => Both people are responsible for the quality of the communication!

Schulz von Thun therefore calls for a balanced "four ears", because the receiver is only really capable of communicating when he has mastered all sides of the message.