The 4 sides of a message

4 levels of communication (according to Schulz von Thun)



https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Four-sides-model_en.svg


The receiver hears:

  • factual information:  this is how it is, this is how the sender sees it
  • A self-revelation:  this is how the sender is, this is how he/she is, this is the type of person he/she is
  • A relationship statement:  this is how the sender sees me/our relationship
  • An appeal/ a request:  this is what is expected, this is what I should do

Often during communication, the participants "concentrate" (consciously focus) on different levels, which can lead to complications. 

How content is "meant" and "understood" depends on the persons, their relationship, mood and previous experiences. Therefore, it can be important to be aware that other people often do not understand "content" the same way I mean it, or not everything is meant the way I understand it.