5.2.1 Communication during the mobility: Solution Task

Task

Solution Task

Example 1

Man: What's the green in the sauce?

Woman: My God, if you don't like it here, you can eat somewhere else!

	Sender (man)	Receiver (woman)
Factual content	There's something green	There's something green!
Self-revelation	I don't know what it is	I don't like it!
Relationship	You'll know	You're a lousy cook!
Appeal	Tell me what it is!	Next time leave out the green!

Example 2

Man: You, there's green up ahead!

Woman: Are you driving or am I!?

	Sender (man)	Receiver (woman)
Factual content	The traffic light is green	The traffic light is green!
Self-revelation	I'm in a hurry	I'd like to drive on at last!
Relationship	I am superior to you	You are a bad driver!
Appeal	Drive now	Drive now!

In both example situations you can clearly see that the woman hears the man's statements on the relationship ear and feels belittled by them.

Now it is possible that the man wanted to refer more to the appeal side and that the weight of his statement was not on the relationship level. This is how conflicts and misunderstandings arise in these situations.

=> Both people are responsible for the quality of the communication!

Schulz von Thun therefore calls for a balanced "four ears", because the receiver is only really capable of communicating when he has mastered all sides of the message.